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08 August 2008 @ 07:30 pm
stuck inside an open door  
stuck inside an open door
edward/bella. jacob/bella. r. 303.
Fanciful fabrics draped around her skin feel like cheating.
for whoajessica's birthday. i love you a lot. i can't believe i'm writing e/b for you. but hey, you asked for angsty and THIS ALMOST MADE ME CRY OMG.
flist, if you're looking at this going wtf...it's her fault.






She is not a wedding type, cringing at every inch of colored satin.

Fanciful fabrics draped around her skin feel like cheating.

Infamous for lack of insulation, these pretty things induce shivers in the early morning hours, teeth breaking skin from all that chattering.

He'd had to leave.



---



These trains are far too long, she thinks irrationally, yards of cloth snagging on fallen branches.



---



His expression isn't like she ever imagined because her mind never went that far, putting up barriers to hide the truth from the blind.

There's resignation in those eyes.

The whispers that follow her flight (thrown into prisms of colorful light because she can't see through rain) are more excited than worried.

The ones who care don't speak.



---



He can no longer read her mind (her face, more accurately, because it's so simple, really, easy as breathing).

She lacks expressions she can't express.

His lips are like fire and she's too pale, too cold; she tells herself she's fine.

It'll be fine.

She made the right decision, didn't she?



---



The worst part is, she knows where to find him.

She made him promise.

A bitter laugh. Like that means anything anymore.



---



Bella, he moans, eyes crushed closed, and she sobs.

She bites her cheek hard enough to taste copper (I would do it for you, I would do it for you) to keep from whispering his name.



---



She looks at the dark hair of her not-children and laughs bitterly.

They don't call her Mommy, even though they should.

And he takes it, takes it all, because he's given his whole heart and he deserves this.

He loves her enough to settle for her.



---



She finds a wrinkle in the mirror one day.

My greatest fear.



 
 
 
Jessicawhoajessica on August 9th, 2008 01:06 am (UTC)
um, oh. my. god. holy crap.

this is SPECTACULAR. i can't believe you don't write e/b, like, ALL THE TIME if this is how you perceive them.

this is BRILLIANT.

Bella, he moans, eyes crushed closed, and she sobs.

She bites her cheek hard enough to taste copper (I would do it for you, I would do it for you) to keep from whispering his name.


that's when the tears, honest-to-god formed, in my eyes.

and the last line(s)... heartbreakingly beautiful.

i think i'm going to have to force you to write edward/bella more often, because you make it awesome and depressing and perfect. :)
Jessicawhoajessica on August 9th, 2008 01:07 am (UTC)
i totally fail at rereading for misplaced commas, btw. (that's when the tears, honest-to-god formed, in my eyes.) pretend you didn't see that, haha.
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:18 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:08 am (UTC) (Expand)
yoursolace on August 9th, 2008 01:40 am (UTC)
She bites her cheek hard enough to taste copper (I would do it for you, I would do it for you) to keep from whispering his name.

this is me broken.

why do you insist on breaking me?
kaikaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:41 am (UTC)
i can put you back together?
(no subject) - yoursolace on August 9th, 2008 01:42 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:44 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - yoursolace on August 9th, 2008 01:45 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - yoursolace on August 9th, 2008 01:49 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - yoursolace on August 10th, 2008 07:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
Maerhysmaerhys on August 9th, 2008 01:45 am (UTC)
This is amazing, bb. Adding it to my delicious now!
yoursolace on August 9th, 2008 01:45 am (UTC)
HAAAAAA. I JUST MENTIONED THAT.
(no subject) - maerhys on August 9th, 2008 01:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:47 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - yoursolace on August 9th, 2008 01:48 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:50 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - yoursolace on August 9th, 2008 01:52 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - yoursolace on August 9th, 2008 02:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lastupenda on August 9th, 2008 02:55 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 03:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lastupenda on August 9th, 2008 03:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 03:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - lastupenda on August 9th, 2008 03:35 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 01:46 am (UTC) (Expand)
*lilylines on August 9th, 2008 02:26 am (UTC)
So beautiful. So Heartbreaking. I love your writing.
kaikaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 02:31 am (UTC)
thank you!! <3
not applicable.nuits_froides on August 9th, 2008 02:55 am (UTC)
JESUS CHRIST KAI.
I AM DEAD.
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.


YOU'RE AMAZING, BB.
SEE, I HAD TO *BOLD* IT TO ADD EMPHASIS ON YOUR AMAZING-NESS.



write more e/b, y/y?


everytime i write e/b, it's so fluffy, i end up choking :[

kaikaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
OMG DON'T DIE BB.



idk...it's e/b!!!!!!!
(no subject) - nuits_froides on August 9th, 2008 03:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 03:31 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - nuits_froides on August 9th, 2008 03:33 am (UTC) (Expand)
viragolastupenda on August 9th, 2008 03:00 am (UTC)

He can no longer read her mind (her face, more accurately, because it's so simple, really, easy as breathing).

i loved this line. this whole fic was one awesome fest EVEN THOUGH I SHOULD BE MAD FOR ALL THIS CRAZY EVELYNN!BASHING GOING. i always died when i saw this was e/b because you don't write that. but you did it so well you should do it more but not in a fluffy way, maybe in a hard gritty manner.


She finds a wrinkle in the mirror one day.

My greatest fear.


fkjsdkfjhsdjkfkja GREATEST LINE IN THIS FIC.


kaikaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
OMG FORGET THE EVELYNN!BASHING, THIS COMMENT IS AWESOME!~
(no subject) - lastupenda on August 9th, 2008 03:13 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC) (Expand)
undisclosed desireslostpoisoned on August 9th, 2008 04:14 am (UTC)
Holy jesus to the christ.
No words. Just no words.
This is perfect.
kaikaiwynn on August 9th, 2008 09:49 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
kaikaiwynn on August 10th, 2008 06:58 pm (UTC)
thank you bb ♥
Mary: Twilight - darkness will come for usbebitched on August 10th, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC)
Aaaaaaaand this is the sound of my heart breaking in two.

He loves her enough to settle for her.
Dear god, woman! So true and well put and geez.

Beautiful! I'm just going to cut off my illiterate comment now, lol.
kaikaiwynn on August 10th, 2008 07:55 pm (UTC)
eep! thank you! illiterate comments are the best, haha :D
bluesuzannebluesuzanne on August 11th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
This is really beautiful and I've read it like... literally 7 times. I'm still confused.

I feel really stupid :((
kaikaiwynn on August 11th, 2008 02:34 am (UTC)
don't feel stupid! what do you mean?
(no subject) - bluesuzanne on August 11th, 2008 02:38 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kaiwynn on August 11th, 2008 02:40 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - bluesuzanne on August 11th, 2008 02:42 am (UTC) (Expand)